subtitled: Stealing Honor

Certificates for All

I have known teachers who give all of their students awards at the end of the year for just being “who they are.” I guess that makes some kids feel good? I personally would go home and transfer that certificate into the circular file.

I’m just going to say it. Receiving an award for either doing nothing…or worse (doing bad or stupid things) is worthless and an exercise only to be done for losers. Kids who go home with their little nonsense certificates figure out that to be rewarded, one has to do: absolutely nothing.

On the other hand, the awards that feel satisfying are clearly the results of hard work and intelligent, insightful, or dedicated practices or actions.

And Now…

I really think they should have given him a tiara along with the second-hand “Nobel Peace Prize,” which was originally rewarded to Venezuela’s Maria Machado for defending democracy or whatever she did that was notable.

Meanwhile, I wonder what the discussion about giving the lovely miss trump this prize consisted of….

Somewhere in Venezuela

Machado: Can you believe this asshole says he deserves the Nobel Prize? What a total dick turd!

Administrative Assistant: Hey!!! I have an idea. Maybe he’ll give us money or say nice things about us if we just give it to him. I mean we’re not really using it for anything important. are we? Just give it to him. He’ll whine and scream cheerfully like a little bitch.

Machado: But I don’t want to be in a room with him. Everyone says he wears a stinky diaper.

Asst.: Okay, well just suck it up. You know, for the good of our country or whatever.

Much Thanks

And so we thank Maria Machado for her altruistic gesture. She gave the baby a pacifier so that she and the world would hear less of the shrieking and whining infant disturbing the world’s sleep.

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